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A curated selection of items you cannot buy. Free shipping on orders over $0. No orders have ever shipped.
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9 items in stock (none available)
The Void (Small)
In StockA precisely defined area of nothing. Comes in a box. The box is empty. That is the product.
$12.00
Free shipping
Gary's Spreadsheet (Print Edition)
In Stock847 pages of data with no discernible purpose. Headers unclear. Formulas unexplained. Gary is not included.
$4.99
Free shipping
Premium Nothing
Out of StockEverything in the free Nothing, but you paid for it. Functionally identical. The feeling is different. Apparently.
$9.99
Pigeon Nostradamus Collected Prophecies Vol. 1
Coming SoonHis complete forecasts from 2019 to 2021. Zero correct. All delivered with enormous conviction. Historically significant.
$18.00
A Rock
In StockUnspecified rock. No name. No personality. No achievements. Just a rock, doing nothing, quietly.
$2.00
Free shipping
The Nothing Button (Desk Edition)
In StockA physical button for your desk. Pressing it does nothing. Identical to the website version. You can feel it though.
$24.99
Free shipping
Leonard Plushie
Coming SoonA soft toy frog with a confused expression. Licensed. Leonard has not been consulted. He is a frog.
$16.00
Credits (100 pack)
In StockOne hundred blunders.app credits. No real-world value. No in-app value either, technically.
$0.00
Free shipping
The Whole Thing
Out of StockThe entire website, boxed up. Cannot be boxed. Cannot be shipped. Cannot be owned. Listed here anyway.
$847.00
All items are real in the sense that they are listed here. Delivery is not available. Payment is not processed. Your cart exists only in your heart.